Lies in the past, hope in the future

It's days i can't help but feeling weak. And everyday weaker. Like a dying plant with no whater. I need that whater that is named Love, i need you, twin soul, wherever you are. Lies were in my past so many times, hope is still with me though, uncertain if to leave or stay, every day struggling with hurt and tears, an invisible pain in my heart, an invisible bleeding scar. Waiting to be healed by Love. Shall i die before being reborn in you arms? Shall i loose hope before finding you? Come, my dear, and fly me to the shining moon.

THE VIEW
Posted by Hello

TEMPLE OF JUNO (Giunone)
Posted by Hello

The plate of Piazza Borromini in Lanuvio, Rome, italy

Today i went to Lanuvio, a very nice small Comune close to Albano Laziale, strangely there were tourists! Maybe some clever ones that know how to really enjoy being around discovering stuff ^_^
What fascinated me most was Giunone's Temple's Ruins and The View!!!!


Posted by Hello

I know

I know in the world there is my twin soul.

He is waiting for me as i am for him.

He is sad sometimes, not finding me, and so I am.

He is hopeful, looking for, then resting, taking time, thinking.

Patient and anxious like a groom waiting his bride.

Calm and nervous, looking all around with his sight.

Smiling and pondering.

Where is She? How much more time will I have to wait?

-

Don't worry, my dear i feel it will be soon.

I can't tell you that you won't loose hope and be desperate sometimes.

I can't tell you that you will not mistake what you see sometimes.

But I can tell you that our love is endless and even fearfull and insicure we will finally find each other and feel that nothing has really changed from a life to another.

Drunk?

Today i couldn't stop worrying to know why someone did not contact me: am i this, am i that? Is he this, is he that? Thinking about someone that doesn't show up (if not in real at least in other ways) is quite bad.
I had my cousin's party and, besides all, i drunk 2 glasses of red wine. TWO, that was a record for me and it was noticed quite soon... by everyone when i started laughting after saying i was seeing everything in slow motion and my head started turning like on a flying octopus... if i was drunk i was not so much. I was lucid but not quite standing properly and even now my head is turning but less, infact i can stand and walk on a straight line touching my nose with my finger ^_^
The climax of stupidity and fun was when i was thrown water and changed my shirt in a bikini bra... everyone was just amazed to see me like that, doesn't happen everyday ^_^! But it was fun looking guys impressed to see a girl in a normal bikini bra and a skirt. Then i had to find a tshirt 'cause my mum was there too and did not agree with my clothes....ancient mother!!!
And now i feel i need sleep. Goodnight world.^_^

I opened a new blog only for...

...trying to sort out a kind of job while i wait for the good one. Lately a friend has been so busy that i have been missing something. Tomorrow i have the famous job interview and before i have to pass through my father's advices...arg. After the job interview i have to drive up to Vigne in Umbria where the birthday party of a friend of mine is happening...and where is the gift? I have no money... i guess i will find a way...sigh. And tomorrow morning i will meet for the first time the owner of this beautiful but old flat. So i had to clean all day and i am knackered. Goodnight world.

A beautiful day and a night of hell

Today was a lovely day, hot, sunny, i went around with my ex, discovering places, amazing views, a very nice restaurant where we ate lovely. Everything was quite nice, the day infact was ok. Too much it seems. Tonight he ruined everything again. He always did it, spoiling a nice, peaceful, happy day is his favourite hobby. He started by calling me over and over to go in his room. He said he wanted a hug. I was busy and kept saying i couldn't. I was having problems with pop ups on my pc. I said no, once, twice, 3 times, 4 times, 5 times, he was never stopping. I got stressed, i got angry and finally i went crazy. I hate him. He made me have an attack of nerves, he made me angry, sad, screaming, he called me crazy when he knows i hate it, making me furious. He seems to love it, and i couldn't help being involved in it. And then to give the final touch he denied, he denied and interrupt my speaking saying he didn't know why I suddenly became like that, he started talking over and over again the same things showing he was calm, interrupting my rage, telling me I was crazy and I even scared him with my behaviour!!! He spoke over me, telling lies, saying he did nothing and saying that I was crazy, and that I had problems, and that I needed to see a doctor! Insults, lies, calm face, like a psicho in a film. And I could do nothing but cry, ask why he was behaving like that, asking him why he was doing that to me, why does he always have to ruin my happiness. And I felt abused. Then he suddenly came back to me, he hugged me wanting me to stop crying. But that doesn't change what happened, neither tonight nor the other times, is this not psychological violence?